Updated: Dec 2, 2020
On crossing the desert on a "Horse with No Name" and
A Badge for Survivors of Boy Scout Sexual and Mental Abuse - Coming By December 15 _______________________________________________________________________________________
REFLECTION TODAY, Dec. 1, 2020
About 2 weeks a go, I took a phone call from a "Spam Risk" as identified by my mobile phone, 2 hours later and many tears shed I realized -- and had not thought of since the age of 11, in 1978-- I am a survivor of childhood sexual and mental abuse by a Scout Master.
After a telephone barrage of 100 questions and 90% yes, true, answers, I was devistated but am now relieved to know that a deep dark secret has haunted my life, my relationships, and my existence since that summer of 1978 in the sweltering heat of the Sin City. I had not thought about this reality in 42 years until, 30 minutes after the interview, I received a transcript of my indelible answers. 2 days after my asault by phone, I was entered as a plaintiff in the Boy Scouts of America Bankruptcy case. As I drafted a letter the other day to my employer, I realized, my life is locked into an event from 1978 at the age of 11 years old--just out of elementary school and not started in Middle School.
The letter began:
"First let me say thank you for putting up with my 9 year old self. My mental health has deteriorated due to Sleep Apnea set off by over time (OT)..." [required to cover 3.5 Full Time Equivalent, FTE, employees in my day job March-July 19 during the CIVID 19 K-12 push to deliver free digital to all US vocational ed students]"...
What is the desert or sea you cross in life--the cross you bare? I learned in studying Sociology critical theory at Bradley University 1993-1995 that my desert in life is called the Hidden Child. An effect of trauma or abuse, the hidden child is locked into thought patterns set up during abuse--sometimes suffering the effects of PTSD for life.
Part of the affect for me is the need for control (1 of the 100 questions in the Scout legal deposition)--hence I am a 5 time CEO and 3 time chairman of the board for tech companies. I have been in the tech industry since 1987 and currently serve the innovation and digital needs of all USA K-12 Schools in Career and Technical Education--old school Bonnabel High School, Kenner speak: Vocational Education/Work-Based Learning.
THE ARROW OF LIGHT
I, Jim Brazell, at 10 years old, achieved this honor before leaving Cub Scouts sooooo, during the summer of my June 19 birthday at 11, I advanced directly to the Boy Scouts in a transitional summer that would forever scar my life, even though I had not thought about this summer until a phone call from an attorney November 2020). Fifth Grade - Arrow of Light Requirements Fifth graders work toward the Arrow of Light rank. If a fourth-grade Cub Scout has completed the Webelos rank, they may begin to work on the Arrow of Light. The Arrow of Light rank is earned by completing five adventures as described below.
1. Be an active member of your Webelos den for at least six months since completing the fourth grade or for at least six months since becoming 10 years old.
2. Complete each of the four required adventures: Building a Better World Duty to God in Action Outdoor Adventurer Scouting Adventure
3. In addition to the four required adventures, complete at least one elective adventure of your den’s or family’s choosing.
4. With your parent, guardian, or other caring adult, complete the exercises in the pamphlet entitled How to Protect Your Children From Child Abuse: A Parent’s Guide.
5. Earn the Cyber Chip award for your age. (The Cyber Chip portion of this requirement may be waived by your parent or guardian if you do not have access to the internet.) OR Earn the Protect Yourself Rules for Arrow of Light.
Documented Boy Scout Leaders - List of Known Abusers in Boy Scouts
Today is December 1, 2020
I am 53 years old. A Phone Call About Sex Abuse in the Boy Scouts Changed My Life Last Week
I had not thought about the events of the summer of 1978 for 42 years...
About 2 weeks a go, I took a phone call from a "telemarketer" as identified by my mobile phone, 2 hours later and many tears shed I realized and not thought if since the age of 11, 1978.. I realized after a battery of 100 questions and 90% yes's that I am a survivor of childhood sexual and mental abuse by a Scout Master.
I had not thought about this reality in 43 years, until 30 minutes after the interview I received a transcript typed. And, 2 days later I was entered as a plaintiff in the Boy Scouts of America Bankruptcy case. I shared this info on the web and write this now for three reasons:
1) I did not know what to do with this info and after not recognizing and locking it away so deeply for so long that letting it go public, appending it to my linked in jobs and making a new digital badge for scout survivors of sexual and mental abuse
2) I want others to know the law firm that took my testimony, filed the case and is doing research as over past 9 months I been barraged by telemarketers in other countries for the law suit but none provided direct contact to a low firm much less the expedience and professionalism of: Andrews & Thornton | ASK LLP | Whistleblowers International, LLC - Call Toll Free (800) 664-1734 - Email: firstname.lastname@example.org - Website: http://www.askllp.com
Traveling Through Life On A Horse With No Name
And then, on the first part of the journey - there is a horse with no name.. and the first thing I met... The heat was hot... I been through the desert on a horse with no name... In the dessert you can not remember your name... After two days... My skin began to turn red... And the story is told of the river that flowed made me sad ... In the desert.. There aint no one to give you no pain...
What is your desert? What is the desert or sea you cross for love? For passion? For life itself?
The existential question for me is about riding the horse, walking through life no matter what (Sichan Siv, Golden Bones - book), doing whatever you can to carve out an existence and happiness no matter the storms or sunny days of life--always, no matter what... There is loss, yes. And, there is attachment/detachment and often a need to let go, yes..
I think this is the key for me and how I survived Boy Scout Sexual and Mental Abuse through hypnosis when I was an 11 year old Webelos after achieving my Arrow of Light described below who advanced to a Boy Scout Den from hell.
12 Tenants of Surviving Important to Me After Boy Scout Abuse
Below are 12 tenants of the belief system I formed and live by after attending 9 months of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP - See the book Frogs Into Princes by Bandler Grinder et al) with Edit Rodas Carol in Houston Texas 1988 (10 years after the hypnosis of a trusted Scout Master who was exposed for child porn in first big exposure in Scouts New Orelans, Mississippi, and Los Angeles child porn ring - E. LA. ST. DR. 1 block from my home's front door:
There is no such thing as failure only feedback (NLP tenant)
To change others, you must change self (NLP tenant)
You create your own reality
You get what you concentrate on - you live the story/stories you tell yourself and others (Bob Allen Disney IDEAS)
Like the movie Avatar we are connected to everything - you are connected to others in the human species and all animals and the land - the land is the spirit of us all - our mother (Hawaii job tour)
Never give up (my mom and especially Ambassador Sichan Siv - Book ad Personal Meetings - Golden Bones book: https://www.google.com/books/edition/Golden_Bones/ZAX2t8Ez8BsC?hl=en&gbpv=1
Your moment of power is now (Hawaii trip, "Manawa") - You are not bound by any experience or perception, past and/or future and/or in any moment - you design you, you create you and anything is possible at any given moment in time
On the "h" word, happiness - Flow - Optimal Experience - time is a perception, a frame, optimally we are in flow, this scares other people if constant, we bounce and gyrate BOREDOM - FLOW - ANXIETY - Flow is the path of happiness (Book , Plow, the Psychology of Optimal experience - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi - https://www.amazon.com/Flow-Psychology-Experience-Perennial-Classics/dp/0061339202)
You can not not communicate, you can not not plan, you can not not because like Yoda says: “Do or do not. There is no try.” (Yoda, Star Wars|:)
You are never done, there is always more work, when you stop working on self and learning, you are dead mentally, physically, and spiritually
Laugh and smile (Thanks Jacqi A.) and help others as much as possible - Karma is real in this life and maybe beyond, so as General MCDermott would say: "Only one rule matters in life, treat others as you would have them treat you
Ask daily and in all situations that demand it: WHat are we going to do to change the world today (Mantra of Dr/Col. Francis "Duke" Xavier Kane, father of global positioning system)
What desert are you crossing?
How do you survive? What do you do for you with you alone? Share your story of survival... How do you design your life for now? The Desert on a Horse with No Name brought this essay out in me today. I will work to improve it.
America - A Horse With No Name - https://youtu.be/oEHBTjIYejE